Self-Reflection

There is a particular injury that I have experienced multiple times. During the most recent occurrence, I reflected on the way those closest to me sometimes do not realise how much pain and discomfort I am in at these times because of the way I handle it. I do not soldier through it in silent suffering, but I can handle it better emotionally than I used to because experience has taught me it will pass and what to do physically to speed up the healing process.

At the first sign of it, I pray and move straight to rest. I do not try to push through it as I know that will increase the pain and prolong the recovery time. When I need to move around I do so avoiding all the movements and activities that I know would trigger the pain and make things worse. I stick to those tasks I think I can manage without aggravating the injury. I leave them until I can do them myself or I ask others to do the tasks I need to avoid. I actually experience the benefits of rest. I do not cry out because of the pain or fret about how long I will feel like this so those around me could easily assume I am well or at least better than I claim to be.

There is a lot to be learnt from this, such as the importance of effectively communicating our needs with those close to us, the blessing of rest, and how we can benefit from past experiences, just to name a few. However, the Holy Spirit showed me another perspective: as humans, we make judgements based on what we see more than what we do not see. So when we see people who are active or at ease we assume they are okay. We may celebrate them without realising that the sign of how they really are and the indicator of how much progress they are making lies not in what they are doing, but in what they are not doing. Notice that we ask people, 'How are you doing?' because we measure progress by action. God measures differently,

But the Lord said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" - I Samuel 16: 7 NLT

Effective Self-Reflection

When reflecting on ourselves, we may think we are doing well and making progress after an emotional injury like disappointment or hurt because we are getting on with a variety of things. However, we would do well to ask ourselves "What am I not doing?" because what we are avoiding often reveals more about our state than what we are doing.

Disappointment, setbacks, hurts and the like can cause us to stop trusting God like we used to. Trust is demonstrated by obedience. God has given each of us things to do, actions to take, and directions to follow. Obedience - taking action in line with God's instruction - is key to intimacy with God and progress in our walk with Him. If we do not effectively reflect on our condition we may find ourselves blind to areas of disobedience. Disobedience is not just doing what we know we shouldn't; it is also neglecting to do what we know we should.

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does. - James 1:22-25 NKJV

Setbacks can cause us to stop doing what we should because we are afraid we will be hurt again, will fail again, or will be disappointed again. We may be busy doing other admirable things, but if we are not doing what God's Word and God's Spirit are telling us to do we are being disobedient.

Perhaps it is easier to identify things we stopped doing more recently, but what about those things we stopped doing so long ago that we have forgotten they were ever part of our identity? Our reflection in a mirror helps us to see our physical appearance. We use our reflection to check how we look and also to assist us with changing - usually improving - our appearance. When we look at ourselves through the mirror of the Word of God by the power of the Spirit of God we can also check the state of our heart and improve it.

The Heart Matters

In Jeremiah, God tells us that He searches our hearts and examines our motives.

The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives, I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve. - Jeremiah 17:9-10 NLT

The motivation behind our activity or inactivity matters. Our heart - the seat of our motivation - often needs to be revealed to us. Yes, God knows our heart but we need to know it too. God rewards our actions as a product of the motives of our hearts. If we are not aware of our motives we can judge our actions and inactions wrongly. Consider those who called Jesus, "Lord, Lord", expecting their good actions to be a sign of their salvation only to hear, "I never knew you, depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness" (see Matthew 7:21-23) because they did not live in obedience to God.

Self-reflection is good, but notice that we can be and probably are to some degree deceived by our hearts. The Bible tells us to examine ourselves (Lamentations 3:40 and 2 Corinthians 13:5 for example). However, there is no action we are instructed to take that we should ever think we are to do alone. As Believers, we have been blessed with the Holy Spirit, our Helper (John 14:16). When we go to God for a heart examination we can trust what He shows us and can be confident that God is the cure for any and every issue revealed.

Reflective Practice

David asked God to reveal to him any wicked way in him because he understood that he is not the best person to examine his heart:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting - Psalms 139:23-24

There is something in social work and other fields called reflective practice. It is incorporating reflection on our actions into the outworking of our profession, both as we act and afterwards, and using the insights gained to continually improve our actions. I came across this early in my working life and it has been incredibly beneficial in helping me avoid issues becoming too deeply rooted within me before I spot them and also in helping me identify things in my character, attitude, theology, and thinking that need addressing. I may realise these things quickly or after some time, but by taking time for this type of reflection with the help of the Holy Spirit, I know that eventually, "any wicked way in me" will be revealed.

For example, any time I hear a sermon that causes me to prickle, I do not stop with a thought like "How could they say that?". Instead, sometimes through gritted teeth, I go to God and ask "Why did I respond like that? Help me to see it Your way. What beliefs do I have that are contrary to Your truth? You are the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6). I want to go Your way, know Your truth and live in You as You live through me. Essentially I ask God to 'show me any wicked path I am on and lead me in the way everlasting'.

It is not always easy, but it truly is a blessing. Sometimes it requires a tweak but other times a whole course correction is needed. Sometimes the change can be made without anyone else being aware that there was an issue, but sometimes I have to go and apologise to someone. I have learnt is much easier if I do so right away!

Blessing in Action

Spend some time worshipping God until you are truly focused on Him. Then pray like David:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting - Psalms 139:23-24

Ask the Holy Spirit these questions, expecting answers:

• What am I not doing?

• What does this reveal about the condition of my heart?

• What are the motives behind my inactivity?

Note down the answers.

Repent where necessary and ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to actively address the areas highlighted.

Build time into your days and weeks where you ask the Holy Spirit to help you reflect on what you are not doing as well as what you are.

Keep in mind that when it comes to the heart and our motives, what is revealed may take time to address, and that is fine. It is another thing we do not have to do alone - but can only do well through God's power that works in us.

"Never doubt God's mighty power to work in you and accomplish all this. He will achieve infinitely more than your greatest request..."- Ephesians 3:20a TPT

Blessings!

Boma